Saturday, May 3, 2008

Why Coulier?

How does a guy like Dave Coulier keep it fresh in 2008? I don't know but The Black Hollies receive word today that Coulier is alive and well and can be found cutting it up at The Laugh Factory in Montreal on a bi-monthly basis. Is Coulier Canada's hidden treasure? You would think so. I talked to a few Canadians tonight about this and they are well aware that Coulier is gold and openly admit they are not trying to hide him from anyone.
On the other hand, Tim Horton's is to Canada as The Olive Garden is to Italy, except that Tim Horton's isn't some bastardization of proper Canadian food. Time Horton's IS Canadian cuisine. Happy families go in there and eat donuts together while discussing the episode of Degarssi The Next Generation where Emma gets gonorreah in her throat from giving blow jobs and consequently has to miss her big school recital because she can't sing on account of the bum throat. I overhear a mother, father, and two kids in their early teens hashing this infamous episode out over a couple of Glaze Au Chocolats. It's been a while since I've brushed up on my French. So the family may have been talking about something else that I botched in translating to myself. Degrassi the Next Generation is pure Canadian television, not afraid to tackle real issues and not afraid to leave a little length in the back while doing it. You can actually walk into a Canadian hair salon with a head shot of Dave Coulier, sit in a chair, and the barber just lets the scissors do the walking. Montreal, the center of it all, is not just a France cover band but a France tribute band, real French but not really France.

On their way there The Black Hollies encounter a sun beam on an otherwise rainy day. Liz, the district manager at The Stewart's chain in Schoon Lake, NY, lost a bet about a month ago during the last freeze of the season. Liz bet the members of her staff that they couldn't sell 100 milkshakes in one day. If she loses she dresses up like an ice cream cone and pumps gas for the patrons. Surprisingly The Stewart's chain turns out an astounding number of shakes and malts on the day of the bet proving that sub-zero temperatures are no deterrent to the people of Schoon Lake wanting to suck down vanilla shakes. Even though Liz loses the bet she still loves it. She pumps our gas with an ear to ear grin which proves contagious as the members of the band feel her flow and carry it across the Canadian border. The Stewart gas station also offers a "Milkshake Mention" sale/give away. If the staff doesn't tell you shakes are $2.25 between the hours of 2PM and 4PM you get one free. Lucky for the band we arrive to gas up around 3:45PM. Lo and behold the staff forgets to mention the milkshake sale to none other than HJWV. Wiley promptly collects his reward. See Diary of a Foodman for further details.

The show tonight is at Casa Del Popol. It goes over well as the band performs to a warm and welcoming crowd. Great venue, great staff. The band is fed and properly soaked. Evan and Dominique go out of their way to make it a special night. I'd highly recommend washing down the delicous Samosas with a pint of MacAulison's Creamy Ale. Not a bad do.

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